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The acting is mostly pretty awful, but there are some moments of genuinely inspired humor- particularly Steven St. It’s a fast-paced, extremely goofy 95 minutes that you’ll probably mostly forget as soon as it’s over, but while it’s on there’s not much to complain about. So what are we left with? A guilty pleasure, although perhaps nowhere near as guilty as it would be with the extra 45 minutes or so of sex scenes in the hardcore version. Additionally, anyone sensitive about racial stereotypes should give the film a wide berth, or turn the sound off any time Chinese cook Wu Chow and/or his sister Ai (Shay Jordan) are on the screen. Even the most dire of Wayans brothers projects wouldn’t have a character blurt out “I fucked my retarded cousin” for a quick laugh, but that’s the sort of dialogue on display here. Adult film is not known for its delicate, politically correct humor- after all, who’s going to be offended by what these characters say given what they’re usually doing? However, cut out the sex scenes and you end up with some dialogue that you don’t usually hear in an R-rated film. One aspect of the film that wasn’t cut was its humor. They’re mostly nice to look at, though, so I guess that makes up for any confusion.
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For the most part it all makes sense, although I have no idea why some of these people have any stake in anything that’s going on. There might be an extra character or two whose presence is barely explained, but oh well. In this respect, it’s actually better than the cumbersome, overlong Pirates of the Caribbean sequels- it knows what the audience wants (buckling swashes, etc.) and it wastes very little time in serving up exactly that.
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The producers of Pirates 2 clearly understood that it would be to their benefit to make a coherent film even without the sex scenes, so the film moves along at a decent clip while packing in various wacky characters and some Playstation-era cut scene CGI that’s at least as effective as anything in the latest Asylum mockbuster. Naturally, the pearl was used to return Stagnetti from the dead, so that works out nicely for everyone. Reynolds and Steel, urged on by Olivia (Belladonna), seek her pardon, but learn they must retrieve a magical pearl stolen from the Church in order to do so. One of their cohorts, a former colleague of evil pirate Victor Stagnetti (Tommy Gunn), has been marked for death by the King for her pirate ways. Evan Stone reprises his role as dim-bulb sea captain Edward Reynolds, ably assisted by first mate Jules Steel (Jesse Jane). Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge opens with a brief introduction of its chief villainess Xifeng (Katsuni) before launching into ten minutes or so of exposition explaining how its main characters came to be where they are today. Well, from the looks of it, the audience is: people who liked the idea of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but who don’t want to sit through nearly three hours of pirate hijinks at a time.
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However, the unavoidable question remains: who exactly is the target audience for an R-rated version of a hardcore film? Apparently both versions raked in enough money for producers Digital Playground to justify a sequel that (according to the press materials) is made with “ten times the budget” of the last one. The film was a popular crossover success, with an R-rated version finding its way into (*cough*) reputable video stores.
#Pirates 2005 unrated series#
Porn “remakes” or “parodies” of popular films and tv series are nothing new, but 2005’s Pirates was considerably more ambitious than most of its ilk. Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge (2008) by Jason Coffman